In our house there are no naughty chairs or time outs.
(YES YOU READ RIGHT)
You must be thinking we are totally nuts, crunchy and have an undisiplined child. We aren’t and we don’t. (Well now that I put it out there watch the wheels fall off)
We also don’t threaten or send our child off to bed if she is naughty. My reasoning is plain and simple – I wouldn’t like it if the place where I am supposed to wind down and rest was used against me.
I do believe in consequences. But realistic ones. Sitting her in a corner, in my opinion, is not teaching her anything.
Here is an example of a recent and very real consequence in our house.
Our budding artist likes to draw on walls. Its been an endless battle between Crayola and I. When the crayon wins I bring her a cloth and make her help me clean the mess she made. This is sometimes met with fierce protest and screams. There are moments where we can sit for 5 minutes while she melts down before co-operating. To be honest I was about to give up and thought I was not getting anywhere until recently when once again the wall was the perfect place to show off her art skills. But this time, when she was done, she trotted off to the kitchen to fetch a cloth and tried (albeit unsuccessfully) to clean it off herslef, telling me “I mess”.
The lessons learnt were priceless:
I make a mess I clean it up.
I make a mess I own up to it.
It was a lesson that she would not have grapsed sitting in a chair or listening to me rant and rave (while I cleaned the wall).
Sure – I might change the way I do things. There might just be a time out or naughty chair in our future – I have the right to change my mind and do it differently if, and when, the time comes.
But for now – this is what is working for us and so I think we will stick to it!