You give love a bad name!

The Blurb reads… Sleep problems, colic and irritability may simply be the result of too much TLC, say the experts

When I recently saw this I nearly launched my coffee (which was in my mouth) across the room.

This type of article makes me MORE than mad. It boils my blood. It brings back all those feelings I had as an insecure, trying to find my feet mom. I had the baby that wouldn’t settle, cried a lot and wouldn’t sleep. I TOTALLY would have bought this magazine just for this article…ABSOLUTLY CONVINCED that I (me, the mom) was doing it ALL wrong and giving my baby too much TLC.

What a crock! This is what makes us feel so inadequate and contributes to our many struggles.

I had no other option but to leave a comment on the page:
I feel sorry for anyone who sees this headline (BAD BLURB) and doesn’t have the time to read it (cause she is dealing with a fussy, high need, colic baby) and thinks SHE is the cause and that she is giving it too much TLC. That’s the reality.

Mine was one of MANY comments – here are a few more:
Too much TLC! Whoever heard of such a thing! Such nonsense! You so-called experts are the ones who encourage today’s mothers to carry on with their lives as if they’re still childless. No, no no, please stop this!

TLC as in tender loving care? There’s no way you can ever love someone too much. Why would caring and loving for a helpless little being who’s spent 9 months in your stomach cause problems? I feel sorry for first time mummies who read this nonsense.

The response we all got from the magazine:
Hi moms, thank you all for your comments. We appreciate the feedback as well as the criticism, as it helps us to improve the magazine giving you a product that you can trust. We have carefully read your comments and reviewed the ‘Secrets of a calm baby’ article. We realised that the word TLC in the blurb was used wrongly. It should have read ‘Sleep problems, colic and irritability may simply be the result of too much overstimulation, say the experts.’ If you read the entire article you will see that we are not saying giving your baby too much TLC is bad. The article explains why babies get overstimulated, the signs of overstimulation and how you can prevent it.

Okay, that there made a little more sense than the “bad blurb”. I realized where they were going, and what they were trying to say.
But still – some books, magazines and sleep articles have no idea the damage they can do, even when the intention is good. (I speak from personal experience.)

It’s because of articles like this that I keep blogging. To help moms who, like me, had / have a hard time being a mom.
(I actually googled “how to resign as a mom” at one point).
I am no sleep expert, doctor or therapist.
I am “just a mom” who knows how HARD it can be. I have spent many hours searching for the right answers, feeling very alone and defeated – convinced I will never do a good enough job.

The best thing I learnt on how to deal shitty advice and articles like this came from my own toddler.





2 thoughts on “You give love a bad name!

  1. Clare says:

    Hi Dee, I really love your entry.
    I’m the editor of the above magazine and I’m really grateful that you gave a balanced view as well as published that we had responded on FB.
    I too am a mom who finds it incredibly difficult navigating the daily trials and challenging journey of motherhood.
    I long for all the answers and yet, the more I read and research, the more I realize that what we publish can only be a guideline for moms – a support if you will.
    I can totally see how the TLC thing angered you and the other moms – and in fact, have no idea how we didn’t see that and realize that it would be wrong in that blurb.
    I feel like I spend my life juggling and not quite getting it all right, but what I DO know is that I am NOT alone.
    Screwing up as moms and feeling hopelessly ill equipped to raise our children is a REGULAR topic of conversation among the other moms I hang out with….and so at the end of the day, you are right, we just need to take the info that resonates with us and be kind to ourselves – no one is perfect and our kids don’t come with a manual (and they are all so different anyway that one size does NOT fit all when it comes to parenting solutions.) So we’ve just got to do the best we can, with what we have, right now.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Hey Clare – Thanks for taking the time to write and comment on my post. Good to know we are all in the same sinking ship sometimes. I am going to put down the bad blurb as you all having a shitty night sleep the night before 🙂
      I know you are all trying your best (as I am) to help and support the moms out there, and who knows – maybe one day I will upset a mom out there who is searching for the answers.
      Keep up the great work!


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s